Writer's Strike Kills the Hills

Hollywood, CA - The ongoing writer's guild strike has claimed yet another victim. MTV has just announced that its hit "reality" show, The Hills, staring Lauren Conrad and a bunch of other assholes will go on an indefinite hiatus citing lack of material and exploding production costs.

According to MTV insiders, the show tried to film a episode earlier this week and failed miserably. Without writers feeding lines to the vapid LC, plastic Heidi, insufferable hell spawn Spencer and douche-bag of the year Brody, dialog - the show's mainstay - was reduced to nothing more than quips, one liners and an occasional hum of the "Happy Days" theme song. The cast's inability to hold a actual conversation has become a major stumbling block. On Monday night, a scene being filmed at Les Deux took over twelve hours, drawing out just enough usable dialog to fill five minutes of air time.

Sans script, Heidi slipped naturally back into an obscure dialect of "valley girl" so unlike English they had to bring in an interpreter. In fact, MTV briefly considered subtitling her scenes, but marketing reminded producers that high school piss-ants disdain foreign films.

Between the interpreter, the hiring of three more editors to work around the clock piecing shit together like a paleontologist reconstructing a dinosaur, and the usual expenses consisting of twelve bottles of Grey Goose and and a twenty-four pack of condoms requested weekly by LC, production cost have sky rocketed. MTV's stock actually fell a full 2% yesterday on wall street after show expenditures were leaked to CSPAN. MTV's Japanese stock continues to hold strong at who the hell cares.

The show was put on hiatus by MTV executives this morning after previewing the latest episode. Most executives declined comment but one was seen by headquarter employees dousing his body with gasoline in a Time Square lobby and setting himself ablaze. Todd Cunning-Ham, senior vice president of strategy and planning for MTV, told reporters, "I'm going home to kill my wife and children now", as he emerged from the screening room.

What's next for The Hills crew is anyone's guess. Most agreed they feel uncomfortable without a camera around and would most likely resort to flashing their privates in public to get through the strike. Jason said he hoped to "stomp a ho" and become someone's prison bitch in his new found free time. And Spencer said he was glad to get a break, giving him more time to "TF Heidi's silicon mounds". Heidi summed it up best saying,"Like, whatever."