Poo to You

After reading a few blogs concerning the subject and having a lifetime of experience myself, I’ve come to one indomitable conclusion: shit is funny. I see the glimmer of thought in your eyes as the realization of the power of this statement dawns on you. And yes, friends, what I tell you is truth. There is no other subject, save few, that is quite as unequivocally funny. Think about it. Countless movies have used fecal formulations to extract laugher from their audience. Which scene in Dumb and Dumber (one of the greatest comedies of our time) ruffled your feather the most? Out of a countless number of memorable scene, the one that always got me rolling was when Harry consumed the laxative and inevitably is forced into an ill-timed and embarrassing gastric, among other more solid things, release at the home of the lady he is trying to woo.

Example number two, a classic example, is monkeys throwing fecies. An occurrence I myself have never had the pleasure of witnessing first hand. Would it be as funny if they were throwing their bananas, or a stick, or even a rock? (I have seen that video of the monkey drinking its own piss, and that shit is funny. However, I do believe it falls into a closely related category and, due to its relative infrequency, I believe we can ignore it for the sake of this argument.)

Finally, a recent example from my own life comes from just last week. Last Wednesday, My twin, E, Westminster, and I were sitting around after a night of cards/drinking and the topic of conversation turned to strategies when wiping. The general conclusion of which was that myself and E stand and my twin and Westminster sit after the kids are swimming and the clean-up crew has been called onto the field. The one shining insight I gleaned from the discussion was that I may be a girl since E was the only other infantry man. I’ll need to do further research to confirm the previous statement (Pole time! All I need is a male female and sit or stand) but I digress. Either way, everyone at the table was laughing uncontrollably about 5 seconds into the conversation, making it difficult to complete the conversation or express a single thought. We cowboyed-up (gayest slogan ever, red sox suck) and muscled through. Ultimately, I just wanted to publicly thank poo for being hilarious. Next St. Patty’s day, I’ll raise a glass in toast to you and drink copious amounts of green beer in an attempt to turn you green (that one’s for VT). Until then, I’ll continue to eat carrots to turn you orange and Chipotle to make you big and strong. Because brown can get boring and God loves all the colors of the rainbow. It’s a fecal world and I’m just living in it.