Attack of the Tip Jar

It's been getting out of hand far too long now. And I haven't said anything up till this point mostly because I'm lazy. However, today I was finally pushed passed the breaking point of annoyance. Something has to be said, because dumb-shit tip jars are popping up everywhere, threatening to take over our very existence.

Tips, at their most elementary, are meant to supplement the pay of workers who, for economic reasons I may never understand, make less than minimum wage. They can also be used to express pleasure or gratitude for a difficult job well done.

Despite the fact that everyone working at Subway looks like they just stepped off the boat, I find it hard to believe that they are not getting paid a suitable wage. A large company with a reputation to maintain, like Subway, couldn't afford to hire illegals and pay them pennies. The public backlash if they were ever found out would kill them. As a side note, should you ever tip an illegal? Seems to me you'd just be encouraging their bad behavior. Making a sandwich, especially an essentially meatless one consisting almost entirely of a roll, requires no skill. Christ, a one-eyed monkey with a hemorrhoid problem could that and probably more efficiently. I can't wait till the machines take everything over.

So, if you'd like to put out a penny tray or something like that, be my guest. But it's not my fault you work at a shitty job for minimum wage flipping rancid patties or toasting things. I don't want to support your twenty-two illegitimate children. Not my problem.

You want to make more money? Fine, get a higher paying job. Don't come begging me for an extra buck of my hard-earned - a phrase I should have put in quotations - cash. The price was clearly listed and I paid it begrudgingly plus tax. Don't try to guilt me into financing your pitiful little life by putting out a pathetically sad tip jar.

You make a mockery of people who actually deserve a tip and me sick. Go to hell and take your tip jar with you.