Superblah

That, my friends, is what those of us in the business call a let down.

I wasn't that hyped for the superbowl to begin with. Didn't care about either of the teams. In fact, I more or less hated both teams. I was praying for a game where somehow both teams lose. Then, BAM! Hester returns the opening kickoff for a touchdown. First time in NFL history. CRASH! Reggie catches a long bomb from Manning an takes it in for the score. SNAP! A botched extra point attempt. It's Vinatieri! This kind of shit doesn't happen to Vinatieri! POW! T Jones busts free in the secondary and scampers to the five with Rex finding M squared in the end zone to cap the drive.

Wow, this first quarter is going awesome. This could be the best superbowl ever.

Nope. I was wrong.

Did anything happen after the first quarter? I'm not sure. I was either passed out on the couch due to boredom or excessive drinking. Let's assume it's the former.

Honestly, in a game like that one, when things start to slow down to the point where you think watching the Saddam hanging for the fifteenth time might be a good idea, they really need to inject some drama. For example, they could have a sniper positioned in the nose bleeds with his sights set squarely on Peyton's kneecap. It would be the greatest performance in modern football if Peyton finished the game without the use of one leg. Or, maybe a high speed chase somehow makes its way onto the turf with a flaming cop car losing control and careening into one team's bench, leaving half the team pushing up daisies. Or a half lion, half bear has escaped from the zoo and wandered onto the field turning Dolphin's stadium in the Colosseum. I know that's a little violent, but if there's one thing TV has taught me it's that violence is just another word for drama.

All I'm saying is this is supposes to be one of the greatest sporting events in the world. If it ends up being a borefest, what does that say about this country? Think about it America.