January 15th

Scheduled Miles: 6
Miles Ran: 6
Total Time: 0:37:05
Current Weight: 175
Current Condition: Recovered

In Million Dollar Baby, Eddie "Scrap-Iron" Dupris says in voice over:

"To make a fighter you gotta strip them down to bare wood: you can't just tell 'em to forget everything you know if you gotta make 'em forget even their bones... make 'em so tired they only listen to you, only hear your voice, only do what you say and nothing else..."

I got stripped down to bare wood on Sunday. I did it to myself without even realizing it. I broke myself (break yo self, fool!) down to rock bottom, but I had to before I could start building back up. And as shitty as it felt to be at the bottom of the pit two days ago, it feels that much better to be climbing myself back out now.

I had to do something today to get my confidence back up. I had to push and prove I could accomplish something. I was low after Sunday, discouraged by my performance and questioning whether I could finish what I started. It's times like those when you can't help but ask, "Can I really do this or is it just a pipe dream?" And it's times like those that you need to do something positive to convince yourself that you've got a shot, that you're not wasting your time and that all the effort isn't in vain.

I told myself before I took a step out of the front door tonight that I was going to do a speed run. Really, I'm not starting the speed training till next week for various reasons that I can explain later. I felt like I needed to kick it up a notch or two and make a strong comeback from what can only be considered a humiliating defeat. While researching my training schedule for the Marine Corp last summer I found an article that said to realistically have a shot at a sub 3 hour marathon you have to be able to run a 10k (6.4 miles) in 39 minutes or less. If you do the math, what they're asking is for a person to maintain a 6 minute mile pace for 6 miles. Obviously, you wouldn't be running the marathon at that pace, but they correlate in some form or fashion.

So, if you look at my numbers for tonight - 6 miles in 37 minutes - you'll notice that I ran a 6:10 per mile pace. Only ten seconds a mile slower than what the article outlined. Not too bad for only the second week. I felt so good after looking at my watch when the run was over it was like being high. I swear it was exactly what I needed to start rebuilding that confidence, to rekindle the fire. It's not where I want to be by the end - 6 miles in 32:45 - but since it's just the beginning I'm not concerned. I'll get there. And I feel like I took my first step in that direction.

I'm syked to run tomorrow. Should be a nice and easy eight miler. Can't wait.