Where There's Smoke, There's Fire

A wisp of smoke rose lazily from the end of a cigarette. Detached from ember and ash, it twists and swirls on its ascent. A fox tail swishing back and forth to some unheard rhythm. As the smoke neared the ceiling, it paused, frozen in time, then disappeared like a magician whose timing is a half a second late. The business class woman sitting at the corner of the bar takes a final drag, holding it in to savor the moment, then exhales it slowly. A gray cloud slipped from her lips and floated its way across the sparsely populated pub. Regretfully, she extinguished the glowing butt in the ashtray while lamenting her predicament. Could this be my last cigarette here?, she thought. The ice cubes rattle in the glass as she swallowed the last of her gin and tonic. It tasted different already. It would never be the same again, at least for her. Everyone would feel the effect. Her pocketbook latch slipped silently undone and she reached for the clip of money laying next to her pack of Newports. Removing a twenty, she placed it on the bar and thanked the bartender saying that she didn't need any change. With a lackadaisical thrust, she shifted her weight off the stool, stood and gathered her things. As she left through the large front door she paused and turned, thinking of all the good times she'd had in this place. How it was the one place that had always welcomed her with open arms. Always accepted her. Always made her feel safe and loved and valued. She hid the memories safely in her mind, a vain attempt to remember what it used to be like.

Unlike the woman, I couldn't be happier because Baltimore passed a law yesterday banning smoking in all public restaurants and bars. We join the noble ranks of more advanced and enlightened cities such as New York and LA, though a little late. If this doesn't get us the national recognition we so desire, I don't know what will. Welcome to the new age Baltimorons. This is your time in the sun. We can finally call ourselves faux hip and with it. Walking down the street I'll no longer hang my head in shame when I see someone wearing a Yankees baseball cap but instead carry it proudly. I can make eye contact with people again. This is going to be great.

All kidding aside, I do think the new law is a good thing. I smoke on occasion and I'm especially apt to do so when drinking out. I don't think I'll miss the privileged, though. I've never randomly craved a cigarette and since no one is doing it, it shouldn't be hard to abstain. For someone that smokes two packs a day, this law must be a killer. Grabbing a beer on the way home will seem like a trial by fire. They don't want to get a drink, chug it and go outside to take a smoke. Even more so in the cold weather we've had lately. All they wanted to do was sit down, relax with a drink and a smoke and maybe talk to a couple patrons or the bartender about unimportant things. Things that help take the mind off the hassles of a long work day. They won't be able to do that anymore and it's going to take some scratching and clawing and getting used to. I really do feel bad for those people. The old timers, especially. Some of those people, all they have is routine. Anything that doesn't register a ten on the familiarity scale might throw them off kilter.

As much as it's going to suck for some, it's going to be great for me. No more clothes that smell like an ashtray or bed that seems like it must have played host to California sized brush fire. No more damage to lungs that already had to endure multiple bouts of pneumonia and a eight month busboy/barback stint in the smokiest bar in all of Maryland. No more having to hear people complain about not wanting to go to a particular bar or restaurant because of how smoky it is - I'm sure people with friends who smoke will start getting complaints about bars with too much fresh air. I'll finally be able to take my jacket off when I get home from a late night out and hang it back up in closet instead of throwing it in the hamper.

The local bars and restaurants put up a good fight. Their primary complaint being that they would lose business. But I don't see how that's possible. People still need their liquor and beer. They won't sit at home and drink in solitude. They need the camaraderie the bar offers. They'll come to the bar to feel connected to something outside themselves. It's the same reason they came before. Nothing has really changed. The need for companionship will override the addictive beckonings of nicotine, at least in the short term. Maybe the bars made a sizable revenue from the sale of cigarettes. I couldn't tell you. Though, I do know that buying a pack from the bar can require proof of employment and a co-signer at some places. The mark up is incredible but that's what you get when the number of convenient distributors is reduced to one. Each bar a miniature monopoly. Point is, business isn't going to be hurt by this. In fact, it might improve things by pulling in people that, before now, would have avoided smoke filled bars.

Things are looking up for the health of Baltimore. Now, if we could only get McDonalds banned to address the real health problem around here.