Ok, so I know I haven’t written in awhile and I know I could come up with a million excuses as to why. I don’t have time with work or the house. I haven’t felt inspired. And so on and so on. However, none of these reasons would be true. I sit at home all the time just watching TV and attempting not to move. And I’ve felt inspired. I can think of four or five times over the passed month that I’ve written a blog in my head and never got to typing it out. That is one side effect of writing the blog that I do enjoy though. When I have an idea for something to write about I actually think in sentences and paragraphs now. Never did that before and its kinda cool, although frustrating when I can’t think of the right word to express what I want. Truth be told, it all comes down to a matter of motivation.
Motivation is something I’m wholly unacquainted with. Motivated people captivate and frighten me all at the same time. They’re something I doubt I’ll ever understand. And yes I did just refer to them as objects but I swear to god some just aren’t human. I’m pretty sure that there have been times when I was too lazy to get up off the couch to go take a shit. That’s a natural body function and something that has its own intrinsic motivation associated with it. Yet I chose to ignore the push, if you will, because the effort to hold it is cancelled out by the effort to push it out and going to bathroom would require a 20 foot journey, round-trip. Game, set, match. Sometimes I wonder how I get up and make it work in the morning, or how I continue breathing.
I think the only two things I can truly say I’m motivated for at the moment is running/playing sports and the constant and unending quest for beer. Am I proud of myself for doing these on a fairly consistent basis, but really, two activities do not a well-rounded lifestyle make. The driving force behind the running is a fear of becoming a fat ass brought on by copious amounts of beer consumption. That and I don’t have enough money to afford a new wardrobe. The quest for beer is spurned by a chemical dependence on alcohol for which I thank god every day. Fear and chemical dependences aren’t exactly the most positive of motivating factors and I don’t feel like they count as self motivating. I would love to do something constructive for a good reason but I doubt I ever will on a long-term basis because I’m unmotivated. I need stuff to just fall into my lap, like money. But unfortunately, I’m not lucky so that wouldn’t happen to me. The combination of unlucky and lazy can be lethal. A better man would capitalize on my potential but instead I think I’m going to use that energy to cope with the realization that I’m squandering it away. Good luck to all you busy bees, I’ll be sitting right here when you get back, still in need of a good shit.
