Shapes

Shapes have been with us since the beginning of time. We learn the basics during our formative years of childhood. The square and circle became our closest friends. We played and laughed together, forming simple pictures and drawings with the assistance of the ever present line. Eventually we progressed and discovered through the gracious teachings of "Learn to Draw Dinosaurs" that everything can be drawn using combinations of the simple shapes and lines we knew so well. Eventually, as we got older and regular shapes became everyday boredom, we discovered shapes that weren't so accessible and friendly. Shapes that held meaning and mystery. We named them symbols and began to identify with the things they represented. Though they fell on both sides of the virtuous line, some were nothing short of evil. The swastika and the double integral sign being the worst.

We find shapes new shapes and combinations everyday. Some that draw us in, spark the imagination and challenge the mind. Some repulse and confuse us. I ran into the latter today in the bathroom. It didn't repulse me, though if it had been made by the hand(?) of another I may have been taken aback. It was a crooked piece of shit. And not just a bent piece. That wouldn't be news worthy. Nope, it was misshapen like a knot in the handle of a wooden walking stick. There was a bulge in my shit that made it resemble a tiny bit of lightning. A perfect deviation from the given path, an apex and finally a return to the straight and narrow. Needless to say, I was more than a little confused and upset about the ordeal.

We've all used those play-dough masher things. The ones where you put the play-dough in a tube, push down on the handle and force the play-dough through a mold to form shaped play-dough strings. Never in all my years have I pushed the play-dough and had it come out with a lump like that, regardless of the mold. I just can't get my head around the physics of it. If that's what the stuff coming out of me looks like, think how bad my insides must look. I shutter at the thought. However, on the bright side, I might try to start forming other shapes like stars, cursive "r's" and cheetahs and passing it off as art. I'm not ashamed to be famous for that. Everything else has failed to get me fame and notoriety, why not give my ass a shot?